Ten Steps To Overcome Rejection in Publishing
Rejection is an inevitable part of the creative’s journey -whether you're pitching a manuscript, submitting illustrations, or trying to catch the eye of agents or publisher. You've worked hard on your project, sent it to industry gatekeepers, and are waiting and hoping. And yet, the rejections keep coming or worse
the SILENCE.
Disheartening, Frustrating, and, at Times, Deeply Personal
It’s disheartening, frustrating, and deeply personal. Knowing rejection is part of the process doesn’t always soften the blow, but it’s essential to remember that every outstanding author or illustrator has faced this misery and the flurry of hatred it brings on. The key is not in avoiding rejection but in learning how to brush it off, grow from it, and keep pushing forward. To help you through the twists and turns of the creative process and the malicious 'NO's', here are some ideas for staying resilient and keeping your creative spark alive and your pencil sharp, even when the doors seem to keep slamming shut with a thud!
Researchers have found that the pain from being rejected, may not be so different from a broken arm.
Apprehension of being turned down
Anxiety about disapproval
Dread of not being accepted
Worry of being cast aside
Fear of exclusion
Concern about rejection
Trepidation of dismissal
Insecurity about being refused
Unease about being spurned
Panic over non-acceptance
How Many Chances Have You Missed?
Delaying sending work to agents and publishers can be due to reasons becoming inceasingly irrational. There is never going to be the 'right moment' or is it fear of rejection? Procrastination often finds creative excuses, but it's essential to hit send - as long as you've read all the submission information really, really carefully...and read it again.
Fear can hold us back
For a child, 'maybe' is definitely worse than a no or a yes, not a ‘no’ - not a ‘yes’ left in purgatory between heaven and hell, not quite being roasted in flames but worse than not knowing and that is the same for any creative waiting on a response - the unknown. I adored Ellen Sibley's at Barron's - The US Publisher attitude - she was just a straight 'No' or 'Yes' with usually a short explanation - not the sending material - then more material - then it was being sent out to a 'focus group' the you'd find the publisher had used your material to gather research and go of and do a version...in the meantime - time has moved on.
Hammer on Enough Doors—One Will Open
Most people encounter rejection in various forms throughout their lives, whether in small, everyday situations or more significant moments.
Rejected
An invitation to lunch.has been declined. 'I’ll pass.'
I did not receive a callback after the job interview. 'deafening silence'
I was disappointed to see a project rejected by a publisher. 'No notes, no feedback'
A close friend drifted away without explanation.'faded out of my life'
These experiences can be discouraging, especially if they don't meet expectations.
Life doesn’t always go as planned.
Rejection
It's a word that dements creatives everywhere. For actors, dancers, artists, writers, designers, and anyone who pours their heart and soul into their work, rejection can feel like a personal blow. After all, when you’re creating something, it’s not just a product you’re offering—it’s a piece of yourself. When someone rejects your work or decides it needs a 'refresh', it's common to perceive it as a rejection of yourself, no wonder JK Rowling called her most fearsome beings in the wizarding world, 'Dementors' thought to be wraithlike near human which drains human happiness and inflicts overwhelming despair on anyone nearby...which sums up waiting on a decision.
The truth: Rejection is not about you, or your work. It’s about circumstances, tastes, timing, and dozens of other variables that have nothing to do with your value as a human or a creator..
The right way to handle rejection can make it one of your most powerful creative tools.
Rejection can happen late into your career too, errors made by accountants years before giving advice on financials can impact copyright and moral rights for an author or artists and you can find late into your life you are being 'rejected' in a different way. Eliminating your name from a work you have created and seeing it being 'refreshed' is like severing the link between you and your work, leaving behind something that was unique but is no longer clearly identifiable. It is like losing a small portion of yourself - an erasure quite confusing, terrible, and useless...akin to being 'cancelled'and 'rejected'.
Eventually, success.
Accepting that rejection is an experience that all creatives go through.
at one time or another—can help you approach it with less fear and more resilience.
10 Steps
to help you overcome the anxiety of rejection and turn those 'NO’s' into opportunities for growth and YES and success!
1. Reframe Your Mindset
One way to overcome the anxiety of rejection is to change your point-of-view. Instead of seeing rejection as a failure, try and see it as part of the journey to success. Every NO brings you closer to the YES that will change everything - although - not wanting to sound too negative - sometimes getting a ‘YES’ can be a ‘poisoned chalice’...
2. Recognise that Rejection is not Personal.
Because our creative work so closely tied to our identity, rejection often feels personal. The actuality is, rejection can say more about the rejector. Perhaps they’re looking for something different, or perhaps it’s just not the right time. Whatever the reason, it’s not a reflection of your worth. An exraordinarily world famous publisher had printed paper slips ready to fill in and post after a creative had made a pitch in their office which said 'Having shown your presentation to my colleagues, I have found a project very similar to yours is being worked on in our other building'.
3. Separate your Work from your Self-Worth.
It’s crucial to differentiate between your work and your self-worth. Your creative output is just that— output. It’s not you. Just because someone doesn't appreciate your work doesn't mean they don't value you as a person.
4. Seek Constructive Feedback.
Instead of simply accepting a rejection, seek out feedback. Ask the person who rejected your work what they didn’t like or why it didn't work and how you could improve. Constructive criticism can be invaluable in helping you refine your craft and get closer to that 'yes' You need to realise though that the person or network you are sending material too is probably under a mountain of submissions - so 'feedback' is probably not something that would happen in the real world. I received a two page criticism and rejection on artwork from an editor at a publishing company in Edinburgh - I've never figured out even forty-five years later - why an inhouse editor spent so long writing a two page rejection letter - perhaps it was normal for the time?
5. Build a Support Network
Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through. Fellow creatives, mentors, or supportive friends can help you process rejection in a healthy way. They can also provide encouragement when you need it most.
6. Set realistic expectations.
Not every pitch, proposal, or project will receive acceptance. You will consistently face rejection if you constantly put yourself out there. Expecting rejection doesn't mean you're pessimistic; it means you're realistic. It helps to soften the blow when it comes.
7. Practice resilience.
Resilience is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Avoid dwelling on rejection. Allow yourself to feel disappointed, then move on. The faster you bounce back, the quicker you can get back to creating.
8. Celebrate Your Wins - No Matter How Small
Every "yes," no matter how small, is a victory. Celebrate positive feedback, a successful pitch, or finding the courage to put yourself out there. Acknowledging your wins helps to keep rejection in perspective.
9. Embrace the Learning Experience
Every rejection holds a lesson. Maybe it's your technique, the market, or your preferences. Analyse each rejection - prepare for many! Think about what you can learn from it and be prepared to try and ask ‘why’, this may lead to another rejection - but you have nothing to lose.
10. Keep Going - Persistence Is Key
Rejection can be a powerful teacher if approached with the right mindset. When you face rejection, it’s easy to feel disheartened, but it can also be a moment of growth. By asking 'why' after being rejected, you open the door to understanding, gaining insight into areas you might need to improve, or simply learning more about the situation that led to the rejection.
Dealing with rejection is tough, but try to keep a perspective on these feelings and try to keep grounded through both success and failure, passions can elevate even minor setbacks, making them feel monumental. But these moments can be opportunities to learn, with rejection an inevitable part of pushing boundaries. There’s a Taoist parable about a Chinese farmer whose horse runs away. His neighbours express sympathy, but he simply replies, 'Good or bad, hard to say.' When the horse returns with a herd, and later, when his son breaks a leg, the farmer’s response is the same. Finally, when the son avoids military conscription because of his injury, the farmer remains consistent: 'Good or bad, hard to say.' Events are just events - it's our reaction that defines them.
Perhaps look to the value of seeing rejection as just another step in the process, one that can teach us something new.
Stephen King“By the time I was fourteen... the nail in my wall would no longer support the weight of the rejection slips impaled upon it. I replaced the nail with a spike and kept on writing.”From On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft'. The novel 'Carrie' had 30 rejections prior to publication.
J.K. Rowling“I wasn’t going to give up until every single publisher turned me down, but I often feared that would happen.”In an interview with The Guardian,Worst Rejection: Twelve publishers rejected Harry Potter before Bloomsbury picked it up.
Sylvia Plath“I am very busy with rejection slips. They are oriental in their approach: they don’t say no, they say nothing, and let you infer rejection by silence.”In a letter to her mother, Worst Rejection: Plath faced repeated rejection in her early career, which deeply impacted her mental health.
Agatha Christie“It is very unfair to expect an author to talk about his own work; it is too much like asking a painter to explain what his picture means. An author’s inspiration is a very private thing, and one can never quite explain why one writes something.”Before finding a publisher for her first book, Christie faced five years of rejection.
Louise Erdrich“I had sent this [story] out many times... and I had received an equal number of rejection slips, all of which said essentially the same thing: ‘No thank you.’”— From the Paris Review interview
Worst Rejection: Prior to her breakthrough novel Love Medicine, Erdrich's stories faced numerous rejections.
James Lee Burke“For 13 years I received nothing but rejection slips, sometimes two and three a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.”In an interview with The New York Times, Worst Rejection: Despite facing 111 rejections, The Lost Get-Back Boogie eventually found publication and received a Pulitzer Prize nomination.
Beatrix Potter My interest in what would happen was greater than anyone else's. It was the story that mattered, not me.”Reflecting on self-publishing The Tale of Peter Rabbit .The Tale of Peter Rabbit faced rejection from six publishers before Potter decided to self-publish it.
George Orwell 't is just possible that in 50 years time we may look back on this age of totalitarianism as a golden age.”Orwell reflects on the rejection of Animal Farm.Four publishers rejected Animal Farm before it became a classic.
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